Remember the Rules of Fair Fighting for Conflict Resolution

• What are the needs and concerns of everyone involved?
  --------Don’t assume; write them down.
• How can we make this fair?
  -------- Negotiate.
• Do I want to resolve the conflict?
  -------- I must be willing to fix the problem.
• Can I see the whole picture not just my own point of view?
  -------- I must be willing to broaden my own outlook.
• What are the possibilities?
  -------- Brainstorm and pick out the options that give everyone some of what they want.
• Can we work it out together?
  -------- Treat each other with respect.
• What am I feeling?
  -------- Calm down. Get the facts. Don’t get too emotional.
• What do I want to change?
  -------- I must be clear and attack the problem, NOT the person.
• What opportunity can this bring?
  -------- Work on the positives, NOT the negatives.
• What is it like to be in their shoes?
  -------- Empathize. Try to understand.
• Do we need a neutral third person?
  -------- Can an outsider help us see things more clearly.
• How can we both win?
  -------- Try to respect everyone’s needs.