Taking Care of Yourself
 TEN TIPS FOR LOVING YOURSELF
Accept flaws. We’ve all got a body part (or two) that we dislike, but why obsess about it? Appreciate that you are unique and focus on the parts you do like.
Make a list. Write down everything that you like about yourself – or get your friends to list things they like about you—and tape the list where you’ll see it constantly.
Fake it. Feeling down about yourself? Stand up straight, smile, and tell yourself that you rule. Even if you don’t believe it at first, pretending you’re on top of the world is bound to boost your confidence.
Be fit. Eat healthy, exercise regularly, and don’t abuse alcohol, tobacco or drugs. Treating your body well is a major step toward feeling good about yourself.
Get support. Spend your time with people who appreciate you for who you are, and who challenge you to be a better person.
Don’t dwell. So, you’ve made some mistakes, you’re only human. Don’t beat yourself up. Instead, learn from your errors and move on.
Get a second opinion. Share your insecurities and feelings with a trusted adult. Chances are that he or she can give you some much-needed perspective.
Pamper yourself. Do something nice for yourself just because it makes you happy. Buy an ice cream cone with extra sprinkles or take a hot shower. You deserve it.
Fight back. When a negative thought pops into your head, immediately counter it with something positive. For example, maybe you’re not so great at math, but you’re a talented writer.
Be yourself. Focus on being you instead of pretending to be someone you’re not. Don’t play down your talents or interests because of how you think others will perceive you.
BUILDING SELF-ESTEEM THROUGH POSITIVE SELF-TALK
How do we get self-esteem? Self-esteem usually comes from messages you get about yourself. These messages can come from other people (like parents, teachers, or friends) or from your self. When we get messages from other people that tell us we are ‘bad’, we often learn to tell ourselves that we are bad or unworthy, and we develop low self-esteem.
What does self-esteem have to do with relationships? The messages we get from people we care about have a very strong affect on our self-esteem. If you are in a healthy relationship, your partner acknowledges your strengths and positive qualities, has confidence in your ability to make good decisions, trusts you and encourages you to pursue your goals. Having a supportive friend like this in your life probably makes you feel good about yourself, so your self-esteem improves. If you are in an unhealthy relationship, your partner might put you down, blame you for all of the problems in your relationship, and discourage you from activities that will help you grow as a person. Even if you have high self-esteem when you start your relationship, if you are around an emotionally abusive person for long enough, your self-esteem will eventually fall.
How can I build my self-esteem? Self-esteem doesn’t only come from the messages other people send you – it also comes from the messages you send yourself, called ‘Self-Talk’. If you are used to hearing negative messages from other people, chances are you will send yourself negative messages too. Things like "I’m so stupid," "I’m not good enough at this…", "It’s my fault this happened…" are examples of negative self-talk. Positive self-talk is when you focus on your strengths and positive qualities, reminding yourself that you are a good and valuable person.
Some examples of positive self talk
- "I am a good and caring person and deserve to be treated with respect."
- "I am capable of achieving success in my life."
- "I deserve to be happy."
- "There are people who love me and will be there for me when I need them."
- "I am entitled to make mistakes and learn from them."
Finish the sentences below:
- I am a strong person. An example of a time I was strong is:
- I am capable of having fun and being happy. A time when I was happy was:
- I can be a good friend. A time I was there for a friend was:
- A time I made a good decision was:
- I am talented. One thing I am good at is:
Repeat positive things about yourself when you look in the mirror!
Crisis Connection, Inc. provides locker mirrors for schools as a reminder!
|
